Samson and the Pirate Monks- Nate Larkin

STRONGLY RECOMMENDED

A couple of months ago I was invited by the men of my church to go hear this guy named Nate Larkin. Apparently the men from several churches in the area were gathering together at this farm to listen to him. I never heard of him before, but I checked out his bio online. I thought, “Here we go…another ‘sex talk’ to church men.” Nothing could have prepared me for what I heard that night.

It wasn’t one of those “we know men struggle with porn so here is a program with some helpful hints on how to maintain integrity” talks.  Nate stood up there and told his story. I have never seen someone so broken and transparent. While not everyone in that room was a sex addict, nearly everyone felt like he was telling “their” story. Nate Larkin’s book Samson and the Pirate Monks both tells Nate’s story and offer a better way for Christian men to live out their faith.

Nate Larkin grew up as a PK (preacher’s kid) and was immersed in church culture. He knew how to put on different personalities as the occasion called for it including the church culture. He went to a Christian college and became a minister. In the course of his life he became hooked on pornography and later descended into sexual infidelity. He had to hit rock bottom when God finally showed him the way out as well as restore what his lust had destroyed.

One of the problems with churches today is that it is not a safe place. It is fine if you want to talk about sin in the past tense and proclaim how God has delivered you. The church wants stories of victory, not works in progress. It is not only alright, but encouraged to admit you are imperfect, just as long as you don’t let us know what your imperfections are or provide us with a progress report.  It simply is not safe to talk about real struggles honestly without the feeling that you are losing standing among your brothers and sisters in Christ. The fear that people are looking at you differently encourages men to put on their masks and not seek the help they need. The result is that men are living out their Christian lives in isolation

The Christian life is not intended to be lived in isolation. It is meant to be shared. The message that is shared is often “invite Jesus into your heart to be your personal Lord and Savior.” Christians often proclaim their “personal” relationship with Jesus. Strangely, the Bible calls believers into not a “personal” relationship, but rather a “corporate” relationship. The Christian life is meant to be lived in community, not in isolation. It is this isolation that drives men deeper into their personal struggles, whether it is money, sex, power, or any of a number of struggles. They desperately want freedom and a better way, but they don’t know where to go. It is even more a problem for pastors.

Larkin’s answer to the problem of isolation is what he calls “The Samson Society.” This is not another church program or a self-help group. The Samson Society is modeled on the 12 step programs while maintaining an unapologetic Christian foundation. It is a group of men who gather together weekly to share honestly with each other without judgment or condemnation. It recognizes men as:

Natural loners- who have recognized the dangers of isolation and are determined to escape them.

Natural wanderers-  who are finding spiritual peace and prosperity at home.

Natural liars-  who are now finding freedom in the truth.

Natural judges-  who are learning how to judge ourselves aright.

Natural strongmen-  who are experiencing God’s strength as we admit our weaknesses.

Through these meetings, men are encouraged to find a Silas. The Silas is another man who agrees to walk with you for a portion of your journey. The Silas principle is not to be confused with a “sponsor” of typical 12 step programs. He is not someone who has overcome and has got it together now. He is just another man who walks with you. He is someone you will tell “everything” to including full confession. The Silas will encourage you in spiritual disciplines as you also encourage him, He is someone who helps break the bonds of isolation. A Christian man should always have a Silas.  He is not the typical “accountability partner”, but rather a friend.

This book is highly recommended. It encourages breaking the cycle of “church programs” that may or may not work. It is a call for authentic Christian friendship. It is a call for community. It recognizes that the reason so many men struggle is isolation which leads to a lack of authenticity. I encourage you to read this book, hear his story, and perhaps even start a Samson Society in your area.